


Father Krampus

by maiden_aunt (SCFrankles)



Series: The Enchanting World of Reaper and Bracket [5]
Category: Dear Ladies (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Grim Reaper!Evadne, Humor, Immortal!Hilda, Spook Me Multi-Fandom Halloween Ficathon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27215764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SCFrankles/pseuds/maiden_aunt
Summary: It is the 1st of December and the Krampus is standing on the roof of Utopia Limited. Hilda and Evadne are startled by this for two very different reasons...
Relationships: Dr. Evadne Hinge & Dame Hilda Bracket
Series: The Enchanting World of Reaper and Bracket [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/856880
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3
Collections: Spook Me Ficathon 2020





	Father Krampus

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Spook Me Multi-Fandom Halloween Ficathon 2020](https://spook-me.dreamwidth.org/17218.html) on DW. I selected from the creature list the Krampus, and you can see the picture prompts I was assigned [here](https://images41.fotki.com/v1399/photos/6/3814576/16181654/fullview_jpgresize7682C912ssl1-vi.jpg) and [here](https://images45.fotki.com/v1636/photos/6/3814576/16181654/56fff22104cdfdd3ebcfd351b01d18-vi.jpg).
> 
> Hinge and Bracket were created by Patrick Fyffe and George Logan. Dear Ladies was written by Fyffe and Logan, and Gyles Brandreth, and produced by the BBC. The character Leicester Hinge originates from Dr. Evadne Hinge’s compelling and entertaining memoir “The Naked Doctor” (as told to George Logan). 
> 
> In the fic, I quote some lyrics from the original version of [Up on the Housetop](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Up_on_the_Housetop), written by Benjamin Hanby in 1864.
> 
> So... Instead of a scary Hallowe’en story, I seem to have written a heartwarming Christmas story? In my defence, the Krampus _is_ a Christmas creature, and I’m– well, me.
> 
> * * *

It was the morning of the first of December. And in the lounge of Utopia Limited, Hilda was sitting at the piano—picking out a tune and happily singing to herself.

_“Up on the house, no delay, no pause  
Clatter the steed of Santa Claus.  
Down thro' the chimney with loads of toys  
Ho for the little ones, Christmas joys._

_Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?  
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go,  
Up on the housetop, click, click, click!  
Down through the chimney with old Saint Nick!”_

Evadne came through from the kitchen, pulling a face. “What on earth is that, Hilda?”

Hilda paused in her playing and beamed up at her. “A Victorian Christmas song, dear. From America! I found it rummaging through some old song books—thought it might make a nice addition to our Christmas concert.”

Evadne didn’t look convinced. “It’s a bit… childish, isn’t it?”

“Oh, I thought it was sweet!” Hilda launched into the chorus again:

_“Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?_  
_Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go,_  
_Up on the housetop, click, click, cl—!”_

She was interrupted by the most enormous bang somewhere above them.

“Oh, my goodness!” Hilda leapt to her feet. “What on earth was that?”

Evadne’s eyes were wide. “Sounded like something crashing into the top of the house.”

“I hope it hasn’t done any damage. Or that’ll be our maintenance bills…” Hilda smiled awkwardly. “...going through the roof.”

Evadne gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about, dear. But we’d better make our way outside just in case there is any structural damage. Just follow me quietly and calml—”

There was the sound of heavy clattering on the roof. 

Evadne stared at Hilda and then sprinted for the front door. Hilda snatched up Maud and Sandy’s bowls from off the piano and followed her in close pursuit.

They came to a halt in the driveway.

“Are you all right, Hilda?” asked Evadne. Her eyes widened as she realised a panting Hilda was trying to clasp two goldfish bowls to her bosom. “Sorry! I forgot all about them! Here, give me Maud.”

Hilda carefully relinquished her grip on Maud’s bowl and then adjusted her hold on Sandy’s. “Thank you, dear. Is Maud all right?” 

Evadne looked down into Maud’s bowl. A low muttering in a strong Suffolk accent was floating up out of it. Evadne looked up at Hilda again. “I think she’s fine, dear. Seems to be locked in philosophical debate with herself. I don’t think she’s even noticed anything’s wrong.”

“Thank heavens for that! And Sandy seems all right too. But…” Hilda paused, resolutely not looking upwards. “...how does the house look?”

Evadne cautiously looked upwards. She frowned. “Well, there’s no damage that I can see but… Hilda, are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

“I don’t know, dear. Let me have a look and— Goodness gracious!”

Hilda stared up at the roof.

“Is that… a reindeer? And a _sleigh…?”_

Evadne shrugged a little while still looking upwards. “Just a small one, perhaps.”

Hilda dropped her eyes from the roof and turned her attention fully to Evadne. “A small sleigh on top of our roof is still a fairly surprising matter, dear.”

She looked up again. 

“And who is that getting out of the sleigh in the big fur coat?!”

Her face took on an expression of dismay.

“It’s not Father Christmas, is it?! Oh, Evadne! Is he going to be annoyed with me? Do you think that song was some kind of summoning incantation?”

Evadne glanced down at her. “I really wouldn’t have thought so, Hilda.” But even she looked uncertain.

The figure in the fur coat had now walked a little way along the roof. One of their chimneys had caught its attention and it seemed to be trying to climb into it. 

Evadne squinted, trying to make out more details. “You know, Hilda. I don’t think he’s _wearing_ a fur coat…”

The figure shifted again and a set of horns came clearly into view.

Hilda gave a little cry.

The creature looked up from its scaling attempts. Then it left the chimney altogether and came closer to the edge of the roof. 

The creature stared down at them. 

And Evadne screamed.

Hilda looked at her aghast. “What is it, Evadne? _What is it?”_

“It’s…” 

Evadne turned to Hilda, as pale as, well, death. 

“It’s… my brother. The Krampus.”

The Krampus was gingerly making his way across the roof. 

“Shall I get my ladder out, dear?” called up Evadne.

The Krampus waved a hand. “No, it’s fine, honestly.” His cloven hooves slipped a little underneath him. He wobbled but righted himself again. “I’m sure I can make my own way down. I’ll just use my tail for balance!”

Hilda’s eyes widened quite considerably, and Evadne smiled awkwardly. “I’m not really sure why you had to come via the roof anyway, Krampus. We do have a doorbell, you know!”

“I just got a little confused, Grim! I’m feeling a bit upset, and force of habit… Look I’ll explain once I’m down!” 

The Krampus wobbled again and on the ground Evadne moved Maud’s bowl to one arm, while instinctively raising her other hand protectively towards her brother.

“All right, dear! Just go carefully now!”

Evadne watched until her brother was back on a more secure footing, and then turned her attention to Hilda. 

“Sorry about all the screaming earlier, dear. It’s just, I haven’t seen Krampus in hundreds of years. I truly thought he had vanished out of existence.”

“Oh, don’t worry, dear. Your brother surprised me a little too, I must say. I don’t mean to be offensive but he does have a somewhat… unusual appearance.” Hilda squinted upwards. “Why is he wearing horns?” She looked at Evadne, eyes wide. “He’s not a goat fancier, is he?”

Evadne gave Hilda an old-fashioned look. “He’s not _wearing_ horns, Hilda. Those are _his_ horns. And his fur and tail, for that matter.”

Hilda frowned. “And you say he’s your brother?” She looked Evadne up and down. “I’ve never seen you with a horn.”

Evadne sighed. “Siblings don’t always look exactly alike, Hilda. And I can pick and choose my appearance to some extent. Krampus is rather stuck with his.” She gestured towards her brother, who was now making his way cautiously down the frame for the wisteria. 

Hilda watched him thoughtfully. “So… if it’s not an impolite question, dear, what _is_ the Krampus? Is he a kind of death too?” 

Evadne kept her eyes on her carefully descending brother. “In a way. A mock-death. He was created before me, to act as a warning. He beats the wicked to remind them I am coming and to change their ways before it’s too late.”

“Lovely!” Hilda pulled a face. “I think on the whole I prefer A Christmas Carol’s way of doing things.”

“Yes, well. He doesn’t seem to have actually been _doing_ that work for a while. We used to be in contact constantly but…” Evadne shook her head. “The last time I saw him was somewhere in the Midlands. He said he was heading out to Central Europe, and then I didn’t hear from him again. Well, until now.” 

The Krampus had by now reached the ground and he smiled happily across at them both.

Evadne smiled cautiously back. “I wonder why he’s come to visit after all this time.”

Hilda nodded welcomingly at the Krampus. “Let’s invite him in and find out, shall we?”

Maud and Sandy were safely back on the grand piano, and Hilda, Evadne and the Krampus were companionably sharing a pot of tea.

The Krampus settled back into the couch. He looked around the lounge and sighed. “What a lovely home the two of you have!”

“Thank you so much.” Hilda beamed at him from her armchair. “Another cup of tea, dear? Or a Petit-Beurre biscuit?”

“Oh, no. I have had quite sufficient.” The Krampus smiled at her, and then at his sister seated next to him. “You’ve been so generous… ‘Evadne,’ is it now?” 

“That’s right, dear!” smiled Evadne.

The Krampus nodded. “I wonder if in return you might call me ‘Leicester’. That’s the name my hu— _I’ve_ been using for these last few centuries.”

“Well, of course, I will,” smiled Evadne. “What a delightful name!”

Hilda beamed at the Krampus. “If I may, I’ll call you Leicester too, with great pleasure. And you must call me Hilda!”

Leicester hesitated a moment. “We have only just met though.” He glanced away. “Are you sure I shouldn’t call you... ‘Mrs. Grim Reaper’?”

Hilda looked a little bemused for a moment. And then her eyes widened. “Oh, no, dear! No! I think you may have misunderstood.”

Evadne laughed a little. “Hilda and I share a home but we are simply friends, Leicester.”

“Yes, my standards are _much_ higher than that,” said Hilda.

The amusement abruptly left Evadne’s face, and she glared at Hilda.

Hilda held up a placatory hand and she giggled. “I’m only teasing, dear.” 

She addressed Leicester.

“Your sister is my dearest friend, and we are lifelong companions.” She paused. “Well, I suppose _eternal_ companions now. But there is nothing romantic between us.” She considered Leicester. “Does it matter, dear? You look almost disappointed.”

Evadne reached across to lay a reassuring hand on his hairy arm. “It’s sweet of you to worry about my happiness. But Hilda and I _are_ happy. This arrangement works for us.”

Leicester looked uncertain. “Yes, I know. It’s just that—” He looked down. “I know marriage is not strictly speaking encouraged for our family. And I thought if Death herself had taken the leap into matrimony…” He looked up again cautiously. “Well, I thought it might be easier to— Tell you something.”

“Yes, dear?” Evadne exchanged a brief glance with Hilda. 

Leicester took a deep breath. “You see, that’s why I avoided staying in contact. I met someone, and… well, we decided to get married! And I settled down a bit. Just kept to where he works in Central Europe.”

Hilda raised a finger in understanding. “But you met him in the Midlands! In Leicester! Hence the new name.”

Leicester nodded, smiling. “Yes, it’s just a charming nickname my husband gave to me.” He looked a little uncertain again. “He’s very charming all round. I didn’t feel my work as the Mock-Death would reflect well on him. He’s associated with celebrations and goodwill, and he’s just so _jolly_ all the time.”

Evadne furrowed her brow. “So… who exactly is your husband?”

Leicester hesitated. “Well, he has several names. But you might know him… perhaps… As Father Christmas?”

Evadne’s eyebrows shot up. “Father Christmas! You’re married to _Father Christmas?”_

Leicester’s shoulders slumped. “I knew you wouldn’t approve.”

“No— No, dear.” Evadne took a deep breath. “It’s not that. It’s just—” She looked beseechingly at Hilda, but Hilda just looked completely bemused. “Well, it’s a surprise. I just wouldn’t have thought that was your type.”

Leicester shrugged. “”Well, apparently he is, and we ended up deciding to make a go of it. And as I say, that’s why I made the further decision to alter my work a little.”

“So… what _are_ you doing now, dear?” asked Hilda. 

Leicester smiled cautiously. “Well, I accompany St. Nick on his rounds. He hands out presents to the good children, and I…” He wasn’t quite making eye contact. ”...punish the naughty ones.”

Evadne looked scandalised. “Leicester! You’re beating _children?”_

“No!” Leicester sat up straight. “Well, only in a symbolic way. It’s nothing really. Quick tap with a bundle of birch twigs and then I threaten to stuff them in a sack.”

Hilda looked a little faint. “I really don’t think you’re making your case here, dear.”

“It’s for their own good! I like children! I care about them!” Leicester drooped somewhat and sat back in the couch again. “And that’s rather why I’m here, to be honest.”

Evadne smiled cautiously. “Oh, yes?”

“Yes.” 

Leicester sighed heavily. 

“St. Nick and I have been thinking about adopting. And it’s… it’s just brought to the fore a whole sackful of problems in our marriage that we’ve both been trying to ignore. I mean, we’ve been fostering for a while, and that’s had its own problems. Once the children reach the age of eight or so they just completely refuse to believe in our existence. Heck of a problem enforcing bedtimes and so on in that situation. And even when they’re younger, St. Nick always grabs the role of the ‘fun parent’, handing out presents at every opportunity. While I’m always the bad guy in charge of discipline! I’m… beginning to resent him.” 

Leiceister shook his head.

“I adore the chap but I’m not sure our marriage is strong enough for children. I’m honestly not sure our marriage is going to survive beyond another hundred years or so. I just… don’t know what to do.”

There was a subdued silence for a moment. 

Then Evadne spoke up. 

“Right!” she said in a firm tone. “We are going to help you do something about this!”

Leicester looked hopefully at her. “Really?”

Evadne nodded with determination. “First of all, you and St. Nick are going to do what Hilda and I do when we are at odds with each other.”

Hilda looked puzzled. “You mean, Leicester should go and sulk in the shed while Father Christmas eats a whole box of chocolates?”

Evadne sighed. “No, Hilda. I mean, Leicester and St. Nick should take a little time away from their responsibilities and talk things through like the responsible adults they are.”

Leicester’s eyes widened. “Evadne, you know we can’t do that! It’s already December!”

Evadne smiled across at Hilda. “So we will take over your duties. Hilda can be Father Christmas, and I… will be the Krampus!”

Hilda came out of the kitchen with the second pot of tea, and set it carefully on the coffee table.

She looked down at the others somewhat awkwardly. “Look, I’ve been thinking things through a little. I’m sorry, Leicester, I want to help out but, Evadne, are you sure this is a good idea? We have so many responsibilities already!”

Evadne smiled at her. “You forget, Hilda, that I can stretch time as far as I want. But Leicester might be able to put your mind at rest. He’s been filling me in a bit more regarding the situation.”

She gestured towards Hilda’s chair, and Hilda went and settled herself in it. Then Evadne turned to Leicester.

“Away you go, dear.”

Leicester nodded. “You see, Hilda, the Krampus at Christmas legend is based only in Central Europe. I don’t travel further than that, so it’s not as though you would have to cover the whole world.”

Hilda shook her head. “Yes, but what about me? If I’m going to be Father Christmas, I _will_ have to cover the whole world!”

Evadne held up a hand. “No, Hilda. This Father Christmas only covers Central Europe as well. ‘Father Christmas and Santa Claus’ are actually several different entities that have evolved over time in humans’ minds to be the same person.”

“My St. Nick was actually at a conference in Leicester for all the Father Christmases when I met him!” interjected Leicester. He smiled a little to himself.

Evadne continued on. “And anyway, dear, this will only be for the smaller gift-giving on St. Nicholas Eve on the fifth of December—not the big delivery of presents on Christmas Eve. Honestly, it’d only be a minor addition to my duty of collecting souls, and your duty of preventing avoidable deaths. I know we can do it!”

Hilda still looked uncertain but after a long moment she nodded. “If you’re sure then, dear. I do want to help.”

Leicester beamed. “Thank you so much, Hilda.”

Evadne managed to unjam the dormer window in the attic to give Leicester easier access back to his sleigh. Then after saying their goodbyes from the attic, she and Hilda went back down to the drive in order to wave him off.

After Leicester had disappeared into the distance, Hilda sighed. “He did look a lot happier, I have to admit. But I really hope we haven’t bitten off more than we can chew.”

“I’m sure we can do it, Hilda.” Evadne smiled at her and began to lead the way back inside. “We do have a few days to prepare, and Leceister has of course left me all the necessary information and presents!”

She gestured through the doorway into the lounge. It now seemed to be much, _much_ larger and was filled from floor to ceiling with children’s toys.

“We just have to do the wrapping!” said Evadne cheerfully. 

“Oh, great heavens,” said Hilda faintly.

But on the fifth of December they were ready.

For the necessary costumes, the two of them had had a rummage through the chests in the attic. In the hall, before the front door, Hilda stood with dignity in her long, red, hooded robe and voluminous white beard, and Evadne stood with a little less dignity in her makeshift Krampus outfit—the remains of the dog costume from the STOATS’ doomed musical version of The Hound of the Baskervilles, and Hilda’s horned helmet from her Brünnhilde costume. 

Evadne adjusted her helmet and then consulted her list. “Now… I think it would be best if we start off in Northern Italy.”

“Oh, excellent!” beamed Hilda. “I can use my Italian again!”

Evadne tipped her head to one side, a little apologetically. “The area we’re going to uses the Lombard language and these are small children. They’re unlikely to be fluent in Italian. But I can bend reality a little so we’ll all understand one another wherever we are.”

She checked the list again. 

“And so if we’re going to Northern Italy… In that case, the first on our list is…” She smiled awkwardly. “...a naughty child.”

Hilda shifted uncomfortably. “You know… I’m really not looking forward to all this.”

Evadne sighed. “Now that we’re actually facing it, me neither to be honest. But I told Leicester I would do it and I’m going to keep my word. Come on, dear. Let’s get on with it.”

They went out to the Rolls in the driveway. Hilda giggled at the sight of it. “I know I’ve said it before, dear, but I do so love your clever use of cardboard to turn it into a sleigh. And that plastic reindeer from the garden centre! Adorable, dear.”

Evadne gave a modest shrug. “I thought we had better play the part with everything we’ve got.” She got herself into the front passenger seat. 

Hilda took her place behind the wheel. She looked back at the impossibly large number of presents piled high on the back seat and sighed. “I have to say that’s not going to do my suspension any good though.”

Evadne nodded in sympathetic agreement, and they set off.

Following Evadne’s careful directions, Hilda eventually landed the Rolls on the correct roof. 

She looked around. “How do we get in? I don’t see any chimney.” 

Evadne gestured vaguely and suddenly there was a chimney after all. “There we are, dear. Just for the occasion. It should lead directly to young Barnabà’s bedroom.”

Hilda got out of the car, gingerly made her way across the roof and, standing on tiptoe, she looked down the chimney. “I’m _really_ not sure about this, dear.”

Evadne joined her. She smiled. “Don’t worry, it’s not a real chimney! More like a portal from one reality to another. Just hitch up your robes and jump in!”

“If you’re certain…” Hilda turned to look at Evadne. “Just give me a leg up, would you, dear?”

Evadne sighed. But with some shoving and pushing, together they managed to get Hilda to the highest point of the chimney.

“I’m going over the top, dear!” called Hilda.

“Well, that’s a surprise,” muttered Evadne.

Hilda disappeared down into the chimney, and Evadne quickly followed suit. 

Inside the bedroom little Barnabà woke up with a start as two figures appeared abruptly in the centre of his bedroom floor.

He sat up, eyes wide. “Who are you?” he called.

“I am St. Nicholas!” called Hilda.

“St. Nicholas!” Barnabà’s eyes lit up. “You’ve bought me a present!”

Hilda hesitated. “I’m… afraid not.”

She turned to whisper to Evadne, who was standing behind her. 

“Are you sure he doesn’t get a present? He looks about four!”

Evadne shrugged helplessly. “He’s down as naughty, so no, I’m afraid not.”

“All right then.” Hilda took a deep breath. “He’s all yours then, dear.”

She stepped back and gestured to Evadne to step forward.

Little Barnabà’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as he saw Evadne clearly for the first time. “The Krampus!”

“Yes!” said Evadne. “It is I! You have been very bad! So no presents and…” 

She gulped a little and produced her bundle of twigs. 

“You get a… smack from the birch.”

Barnabà shrank back in his bed. “No!”

Evadne waved her free hand. “Don’t worry, dear. It’s only a tap and— Oh, never mind...” She threw the bundle aside. “Forget the birch.” She attempted to smile. “But if you don’t improve your behaviour, then I’m afraid I will have to put you in my sack and take you away and—”

Barnabà screamed. 

“No! No! I promise I will tidy my toys without being asked! And I won’t say poo any more! Mummy, mummy, please don’t let them take me away! Truly, I’ll be good!”

Evadne turned and looked at Hilda in horror. “This is terrible. Just terrible.”

Further inside the house other people could be heard stirring at the noise.

Hilda pulled at Evadne. “Come on, dear! We’ve got to go!”

They stepped backwards into the portal and abruptly they were standing back on the roof. They both scrambled back into the Rolls and Hilda got them off the roof and away.

Evadne shuddered in the passenger seat. “I can’t do it! I just can’t! I know I promised Leicester but…” She shook her head. “This surely can’t be the right way to do things. Presents if you’re considered good and being frightened out of your wits if you’re considered bad? I can’t believe there are many children in the world who are either complete angels or completely wicked.”

Hilda nodded firmly in agreement. “You’re absolutely right, dear. There must be a better way of doing things while still keeping your word to your brother.” She gestured with her head towards the back seat. “Somewhere under there is a thermos and a hamper. We’ll stop and steady our nerves and discuss our next step...”

And so here they were in house number two. They had decided to leave off the original costumes, and Hilda was now wearing a Christmas jumper with a Santa Claus on it, and Evadne was in a matching jumper but hers had a teddy bear wearing a spotted bow tie.

The two of them were seated on cushions and facing a little girl sitting on the end of her bed, who was paying solemn attention. 

Hilda consulted the list again. “And so you see, Alina, you have done many, many good acts over the year.” She glanced at Evadne. “But as my colleague has mentioned, yelling at your little sister and being jealous of her has lost you some points.”

Alina looked down. “Yes, I’m sorry.”

“It’s your sister you really have to apologise to,” said Evadne.

She turned to the cot in the corner.

“Thank you for sitting in on this meeting, Sofia, by the way.”

“‘Ank ‘oo!” Sofia pulled herself up into a standing position and waved her brand new cuddly rabbit.

Hilda and Evadne exchanged a small smile. 

“So polite!” said Hilda. 

She reached behind her cushion and pulled out a wrapped gift.

“So, Alina, now we’ve discussed what you’ve done right, and what you’ve done wrong and how to start putting things right, here is your St. Nicholas Eve present!”

Alina took the present but looked down at it doubtfully. She looked up again. “Should I give it to Sofia instead?”

Evadne waved her hands. “Oh, no, dear! A kind thought but we’ve already given your sister her rabbit. That present is just for you—a reward for all the good things you’ve got done this year. Because you truly are a good person, you know!”

Alina smiled shyly at them both. “Thank you.”

“You’re most welcome!” said Hilda. “And keep up the good work!”

Back up on the roof, Evadne and Hilda beamed at each other.

“I really think we’ve hit on the winning formula, dear!” said Evadne. “On to the next child!”

It had been a long night but at last they had visited the very last child that believed in St. Nicholas and the Krampus.

Hilda sighed as she drove. “A job very well done. But I am _exhausted.”_

Evadne nodded. “Let’s just be grateful that we only had to cover Central Europe. And we did manage to collect their great-grandfather on the last one, so two birds with one stone!”

“Yes…” Hilda looked over her shoulder at the soul sitting in the backseat. She smiled apologetically. “Sorry about that, dear.”

A quick detour to drop the soul off at the next life, and Hilda and Evadne headed back to Utopia Limited.

“I am dying for a cup of tea,” said Hilda, as they entered the lounge. “I’ll just— Oh!”

It appeared that they had two visitors. 

“Leicester!” said Evadne, staring in surprise at her brother. She turned her attention to his companion in the red robes and impressive white beard. “And this must be… St. Nick?”

“Yes, indeed.” St. Nick smiled awkwardly. He raised a hand and wiggled his fingers in greeting.

Leicester smiled apologetically. “Sorry for coming in without your permission. We thought it best not to wait on the doorstep.”

Hilda looked the two of them up and down. “Yes… Yes, I think that was probably wise.”

“So you’ve come to find out how it all went? How we did?” Evadne exchanged an awkward glance with Hilda.

“Not exactly.” Leicester’s expression was equally awkward. “You see… I was able to see everything that was going on via our nanny-cam in the list of good and naughty children.” 

“Leicester!” Evadne’s face expressed utter disbelief. “You didn’t trust us!”

“No! Well…” He shrugged a little. “Maybe yes. A little.” He threw up his hands. “Those children are my responsibility!”

Hilda pulled her shoulders back. “Your responsibility to terrify, apparently! I’m not sure why you thought we could possibly be any worse at your job than you were already!”

Leicester’s shoulders slumped. “Yes. Well. That’s actually why I’m glad we were able to watch you, as it turns out.”

St. Nick patted Leicester’s hand, and he addressed Hilda and Evadne. “You see, as we watched you together, it began to make us realise where we were going wrong in our relationship.”

Leicester sighed and nodded. “We’d been splitting the duties down the middle but… we’d got it all wrong. We watched you working together as a team, as true partners. Sharing everything equally. And it made us realise how we could improve things in our work and in our personal life.”

St. Nick looked at Leicester. “No more me being the patron saint of fun, and poor old Leicester stuck being the disciplinarian. From now on, all decisions will be made jointly.”

Leicester grinned at St. Nick, and then at Evadne and Hilda too. “And once we’ve got Christmas Eve out of the way, we’re going to be adopting! I think we’re ready!”

Evadne beamed at him. “Oh, that’s wonderful.”

HIlda smiled round at them all. “Everybody sit down! I’ll go and put the kettle on to celebrate.”

“Are you… sure it’ll fit, Hilda?” asked Evadne, with a small smile.

Hilda patted her affectionately on the arm. “You really have been hanging around with me for too long, dear!”

A busy Christmas period had come and gone, and Hilda and Evadne were spending a quiet New Year’s Eve at home.

But Evadne had just picked up her new book on tricycle maintenance when there was a knock at the door.

“Oh, who’s that?” she groaned, as Hilda got up to answer it. “If it’s Peter and Mandy Moore again, I am going to prematurely separate their souls from their bodies, I really am!”

But Hilda came back into the lounge smiling. “It’s Leicester and your brother-in-law—they want us to come outside so we can meet someone.”

She went across and opened the French windows. 

“They’re parked in the back garden.”

Hilda led the way out to where a large sleigh was standing. Eight unharnessed reindeer wandered calmly before it, feeding from their nosebags, and behind them by the sleigh itself, stood a beaming Leicester and St. Nick.

“Hello, Evadne! I thought you’d like to meet your new nephew!” called Leicester.

“My goodness!” Evadne brought a hand excitedly to her mouth. “The adoption has gone through already? Oh, how wonderful!” 

She frowned. 

“But why didn’t you just bring the poor little mite inside? It’s quite chilly.”

However, Leicester and St. Nick simply stood aside and gestured dramatically together to the back seat.

“Here he is! Our new son, Gregorian!” said St. Nick.

“Hello, Gregorian! It’s a pleasure to— Oh.” 

Evadne’s face fell a little as she was unexpectedly faced with an elderly gentleman waving feebly but cheerfully back at her. 

“Sorry…” She glanced at the proud new parents. “That wasn’t quite what I—”

Hilda leaned over to whisper to her. “Their son? He looks like he’s over a hundred.”

But understanding was beginning to dawn on Evadne’s face. “Hang on. Gregorian? Is this…?”

Leicester nodded happily. “The Old Year. He needs a bit of care from us now but he’ll need far more at midnight when he’s reborn as the New Year.”

“We thought it was high time someone took the Year under their wing, instead of letting the poor thing muddle along on his own,” said St. Nick. 

“He’ll grow up again pretty quickly of course,” said Leicester. “But he’ll need help once more at the end of December and then he’ll be reborn as a baby every January the first.”

Evadne’s eyes widened. “So it’ll be a responsibility for… millennia!”

“For pretty much… forever,” said Hilda. She nodded in appreciation. “That's rather admirable.”

Leicester shrugged. “No more admirable than what you’re doing, Hilda. Staying with Evadne for all eternity, in order to look after her.”

Hilda laughed a little. “I’m certain she could cope without me. And Evadne does look after me too!”

“But it takes a lot of courage, Hilda. The decision to stay on.” Evadne smiled at her. “And I do always appreciate you staying.”

“Oh, you!” Hilda waved the praise away, but she was smiling too. 

She beamed around at everyone.

“Now, come on. Everyone come inside out of the cold and we’ll toast the Old Year while he’s still old enough to drink!”

St. Nick and Leicester carefully helped Gregorian out of the car, and Hilda watched as the three of them made their slow and cautious way towards the house, the parents supporting their elderly child.

“You know, you’re a funny old family,” she said.

Evadne raised an eyebrow in amusement and mock-annoyance. “Thank _you,_ Hilda. We’re no stranger than most, I feel.”

“No, I mean, you’re a funny old family…” 

Hilda smiled and set a hand on her arm. 

“And I’m very happy to be a part of it.”


End file.
